in lieu of flowers...

in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to:

AMERICAN LUNG ASSOCIATION
https://www.kintera.org/site/apps/ka/mt/createCard.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=40733&en=guIPK1MKLjIUI2ORLeKSJ8NSLmLTK5POJjJ0KlP6E

or go to www.lungusa.org and click on "make a donation" and enter "Mary Frances Jarrold"

or call 212-315-8737 and speak with amina.

please make donations under the name of "mary frances jarrold"

HOSPICE VNS
3358 ridgewood road
akron, OH 44333

SAINT SEBASTIAN CHURCH
476 mull ave
akron, OH 44320
330-836-2233

some of my favorite pictures

maryfran never took a bad picture. here are some of my favorites.

more pictures will follow.

tom.

one of the many conversations i had with my mom

my brother and i were fortunate enough to have spent lots of time with my mom over the past months and years. earlier in 2007, i had many very difficult but wonderful conversations with her. one that makes us all feel better happened late one evening after a late dinner. mom was quite the night owl - always staying up until the wee hours chatting the night away. it was the night i brought mom home from her first visit to the hospital in early april 2007. we stayed up talking until 3 am believe it or not.

i talked about how much i was going to miss her, she held my hand and said "you don't have to cry." she teared up herself and said she would would miss us all, especially bill and me, but that she would be happy to see all the people she hasn't seen in a while. she lit up and mentioned seeing evelyn, her sister-in-law and one of her dearest friends. evelyn was perhaps closest to her in her final years. she mentioned seeing her brother bill, brother fred, her mom and dad, "daddy" (she called our father "daddy"), molly and margo (our dogs when in connecticut). she said she'd probably stick her tongue out at daddy, but then softened, saying it would be great to see him again.

i hope she's up there now having a great time with them all. and one day perhaps we will be seeing her again.

tom.

memorial for maryfran

a memorial service for maryfran will be held on friday, may 4 at 11AM at the saint sebastian church at 476 mull avenue in akron, ohio.

burial will follow immediately at the holy cross cemetary, 100 east waterloo road, akron, OH 44319.

thank you.

january 17, 1929 - april 28, 2007

mom died early saturday morning at 1:25AM at akron general. my brother bill and i were at her side until the end. i was holding her hand and talking to her. her death was peaceful. her breathing gradually slowed and became inconsistent. her struggling subsided.

earlier that day (friday), her breathing was getting progressively harder and harder. she woke friday morning and we talked a bit. she ate a little food and tired quickly. she was slightly responsive at times. her breathing more and more difficult.

aunt dorothy flew in and made it to see her by about 4pm. mom was only slightly responsive by the time dorothy arrived, but i know mom could hear her and feel that she was there. mom opened her eyes when dorothy arrived. she knew she was there. francie, marguerite, and rose all stopped by during the day, too.

while this has been an exrutiatingly difficult experience, we're all happy that maryfran died a happy and content woman, with her family close to her.

i want to thank everyone that's been around here for maryfran and bill and me. we want to particularly thank the nursing staff at akron general for the compassion and care they gave my mom during her final hours, and we want to thank aunt dorothy for rushing to akron to see my mom before she died. she has truly been a great support.

tom.

friday morning

bill and i slept with mom at the hospital last night. she slept soundly. it seems we all woke up at the same time at 8AM. she was hungry, so i ordered her a little breakfast. she ate a little, and we had a nice chat. i told her aunt dorothy was flying up for a visit this afternoon and she smiled. she actually made a couple jokes.

she was pretty coherent, and i think she understands what's happening with her. she understands and reconfirmed her wishes to pass peacefully.

again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. both bill and i are truly great for the loving support we feel from our family.

tom.

akron general, room 5424

so mom has been moved to one of the main floors of the hospital - a nice, private room at akron general #5424.

i received a call this morning from the ICU doctor saying her condition had worstened. while she's off the respirator, her breathing has been very difficult. while steroids and inhalants and antibiotics and all can help, the doctor said the problem is more with her ventilation - the ability to expel carbon dioxide - something that is not a good sign.

she has been very clear with bill and me about what sort of measures she wants to undertake for her health. she retiterated a few times today to doctor kakarala that she does not want any extraneous means to keep her alive. the first thing she said when i saw her yesterday was that she really didn't like all these tubes and needles and everything. so she's resting comfortably, taking morphine for pain and atavan for anxiety. while this is extraordinarliy difficult as you might imagine, we know that this is what she wants.

when she came to this morning, bill and i asked her if she wanted some visitors and she nodded yes. so we made a few calls and before you know it, billy dannemiller, noel and beth, gibby, and uncle tom all stopped by. she really rallied and was quite coherent and talkative. father karg stopped by and said some prayers. a chaplain from the hospital gave her holy communion. mom chatted with dorothy and ed senior on the phone. unlce eddie had her laughing. joanne and i think denise, who are visitin ed in the desert. larry and maggie are back in michigan, and they called in to chat as well. lisa stopped by this evening for a visit, and bill and i have fielded lots of calls from all of you and passed on your thoughts and prayers.

it's almost 9pm and bill and i are here with mom. she's resting peacefully, sleeping a bit, waking a bit to chat. she wanted a hot dog with ketchup and mustard, so i ran out to swensens and picked her one up. she ate a few bites and enjoyed it very much.

she's actually on the phone now with katie remembering all the fun and stories.

thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. i know my mom has been happy to hear about all of you.

with love.

tom.

maryfran's doing better

brother bill, uncle larry and aunt maggie spent much of the day at the hospital today. good news is that she's been taken off the respirator, and is breathing (with oxygen) ok. she still is in the ICU, but her pneumonia seems to be subsiding.

i flew out this afternoon and spent the evening with her. one good sign about her is that, again, she was very chatty. we talked about lots of things. she was still pretty weak, but she ate some liquid food. compared to what i hear about how she looked tuesday, she's doing quite well.

we're hoping tomorrow she will move to a regular floor of the hospital. whether she will become well enough to come home (with care) is still up in the air.

thanks for all your thoughts and prayers and calls and all.

feel free to post a comment. we'll read them to her. it's easy to do - just click on the word "comments" and you can easily post.

more later.

tom.

in the hospital

unfortunately, mom was checked into the hospital yesterday afternoon. my brother is with her now. she had lots of trouble breathing over the weekend and was quite weak, so she and bill decided it would be best for her to check in. she is currently in the ICU, and, unfortunately, in worse shape when i saw her last. she has pneumonia, is on a ventilator, and is pretty heavily sedated. my brother bill is at the hospital with her now. they say that her condition is critical, yet stable, and that she is slowly improving. she willl likely be in the ICU for a number of days and will be in the hospital longer than that.

larry and maggie are stopping by on their way back to michigan and will pay a visit. i know my mom will enjoy this. cousin bill dannemiller stopped by as well i think.

i'll be back to update this as i receive more information.

tom.

maryfran's at home

i've created this blog to help inform you all about my mom's health.

as you may know, mom was in the hospital for three nights, april 2 - 5. she had lots of trouble breathing, so she was checked into the hospital. she's comfortable and resting at home now. she's chatty as ever and in good spirits, but her condition is quite serious, as she's got two pretty serious problems - chronic emphysema and congestive heart failure. her emphysema is making the lungs inefficient - they don't get enough blood into the bloodstream. and her heart is not really strong. the left side (the side that pumps the freshly oxygenated blood into the body) has a leak in it. technically, it's a leak in the mitrol valve. 30-50% of the blood that is suppossed to get out into the body gets pushed back into the heart. so, poorly oxygenated blood comes from the lungs and then a lot of that poorly oxygenated blood doesn't make it out to mom's body, so her body does not get the nourishment in oxygen that it needs. the heart condition is called congestive heart failure. her mom had it in her late 70's. her dad had emphysema. surgery is not an option at this stage with her age and emphysema.

i've been out her since wednesday and we've been looking into increasing home care and making it easier and more comfortable for mom to live here. like i said, she's in good spirits and talks a lot, inbetween her rests. she's always been good at telling a story. that certainly hasn't changed.

feel free to post anything on here. we'll read it to her.

with love.

tom.